Open relationships and non-monogamous lifestyles offer couples the chance to explore new sexual adventures and improve their sex life. But if you want to start swinging, you’ll need to learn some essential rules before you and your partner jump into bed with a bunch of strangers. Check out our beginner’s guide to swinging!
What Is Swinging?
The swinging lifestyle is one of the most popular forms of consensual non-monogamy. It’s a sexual practice and a lifestyle choice enjoyed by many couples and singles. Other names for it include wife, husband, or partner swapping. Swingers are usually part of open relationships, and there are many reasons why they enjoy sexual and recreational non-monogamy. Swinging focuses purely on sexual pleasure, experimentation, socialization, and recreation.
Generally, it involves swapping partners, watching your partner have sex with others, taking part in various sexual activities with other consenting couples or singles, and more. Almost always, this takes place during organized or spontaneous private parties at home. Most cities have a swingers club where consenting adults can meet and have sex.
What’s more, one of the main reasons why swingers choose this lifestyle is that it broadens their sexual horizons. It also increases the quantity and quality of their sexual activities. In fact, most swingers claim that their lifestyle deepens their relationship with their partner.
Tips for Beginners
If you’re interested in the swinging lifestyle, we’ve prepared some sex tips to ease you into it.
Keep an Open Line of Communication
Swinging starts with trust and transparency. You have to be clear with your partner. You also need to know why you want to swing in the first place. Forcing this subject on your partner could end in arguments, jealousy, or worse.
Also, if you want to try swinging with your partner, you have to clear the air first. Make sure that your relationship is in a great place. If you’re not having any relationship issues, swinging could provide you with tons of pleasure. However, if your relationship is troubled, try to solve your issues before swinging. When you talk to your partner about it, be open and honest. Tell them why it makes you horny. You should also talk about safe sex, jealousy, or other concerns.
Establish Clear Boundaries
All couples who practice this lifestyle successfully do so by following a set of rules. This can differ for every couple. You should talk to your partner and establish clear rules that you will both follow during your swinging activities.
For example, decide on whether or not you allow soft swapping or full swapping. Soft swapping allows foreplay, while full swapping includes penetrative sex (vaginal, anal, and oral).
Moreover, some couples prefer group sex, while others can go to swinger parties and separate to have one-on-one sex with strangers. You can also talk about safety during sex with strangers as well as with your comfort levels. Establishing ground rules will make both of you feel comfortable and confident in your new swinging lifestyle.
Start Slow
If it’s your first time, try to take it easy and slow down. You don’t need to participate in a massive swinger orgy right away. Instead, do your research and get inspired. We recommend you ease into it by watching swinger porn. There are tons of amateur or professional swinging videos that could give you a glimpse of what to expect.
For example, you can watch swinging porn with your partner to see what turns you on. You should masturbate or have sex with your partner while watching porn to see what kind of act gets you off the most. If you are not into big gangbangs, simply check out some threesome videos.
Plus, another great tip is to browse discussion websites like Reddit or actual swinger sites. Here, you could read swinger confessions or even meet someone to find out about their first experience.
Come Up With a Signal
Honestly, you can take a lot of time to get ready for your first swinging event. However, nothing can prepare you for how you might feel when you’re out there on the front line. Many people get uncomfortable, nervous, or they even start panicking. This occurs as a natural response. That’s why you should establish a few codewords of signals.
If you panic or get cold feet, use the signals to let your partner know that it’s time to leave. You could also have a few different signals. For instance, if something feels good, you could let your partner know. That’s how you can reassure each other that you are both enjoying it.
Practice Safe Sex
If you’re only having sex with your partner, you probably have a set routine or method for safe sexual practices. But you will need to reconsider the way you practice safe sex before you get it on with a bunch of strangers. Fortunately, not everyone can join a swingers party. When you go to a party, it’s hosted by someone who knows all the guests personally and pays close attention to sexual safety.
Obviously, you should use preservatives like condoms, dental dams, and similar. Yet, to join a swingers party or a club, you’ll need to get tested on a regular basis. This is the only way to ensure and prove that both of you will stay healthy. Apart from that, you should also follow the proper hygiene practices.
Consider Branching Out
Like we’ve said, most towns have some sort of private club or establishment for swingers. The swinging scene is quite popular worldwide. If you and your partner enjoy your first swinging experience, you can broaden your horizons even further.
Swingers clubs are fantastic for hookups and group sex. If you prefer kinky sex, you can join a BDSM swinging club to explore various fetishes with strangers. It’s also possible to attend swingers’ conventions. You could do this in person or online, and it’s a great way to get in touch with the swinging community. That could give you the chance to meet other swingers and make new friends.
Pay Attention to the Etiquette
Besides establishing your own swinging rules, you will also have to follow the rules of the host(s). Namely, nearly all swinger parties, clubs, and other get-togethers have a set of rules. Everyone who attends has to follow those rules. That could be as simple as getting tested frequently. But some parties only allow women to lead, require you to RSVP on time, etc. Some events could require you to bring a gift, or they could allow photos/videos.
Summary
Hopefully, this guide has prepared you for your first swingers party. So keep an open mind, follow some of our tips, and have fun!